I was at Target this weekend when I came across a father and son, the boy was about 16 or 17. His father was talking to him and he just looked annoyed and
would turn his back and walk away while his father was in mid-sentence or snap at him. A little while later I run across them again this time the kid is on the
phone and I hear him before I see him. The kid is loud and using profanity while his father asks over and over who he's talking to, practically pleading.
The kid finally shouts go fuck yourself into the phone and slams it shut as his father asks once again who he's talking to, his reply, Mom. I realize I
don't know this familys circumstance but I can't envision a scenario that I would have acted like that as a teen or one where I would just stand by and
let it go as a parent. .
Warning Old Man Rant: When I was a teenager this wouldn't have flown
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 fuegoman2001 |
Warning Old Man Rant: When I was a teenager this wouldn't have flown |
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Posts: 1375 (03/30/09 17:48:02) Shocklineraholic |
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Bookhoard |
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Posts: 664 (03/30/09 18:14:28) |
Dads don't have the pull that they used to. If the guy tries to discipline his son he could wind up in court.
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JKnight1 |
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Posts: 2568 (03/30/09 18:52:20) Shocklineraholic |
I could have gotten away with that as a teenager...if I wanted to live in a cardboard box. While I was under my parents' roof, they made the rules.
Jan |
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buntles |
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Posts: 18 (03/30/09 19:05:09) |
Fuck, when I was a kid, I knew kids who couldn't get away with anything, like rolling their eyes and shit. And I knew kids who were permitted by their
parents to actually strike them. I remember talking to my old man about it. He said it was the same shit in his day, too. Different families have their own
bizarre behaviors.
Regarding ending up in court for disciplining your kid, I always hear about the how much the world has changed. I think it's just hysteria, with a nice heap of urban legend. On the rare occasion when I have heard about court interventions it involves a brutal beating, etc. |
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NickYak |
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Posts: 9275 (03/30/09 19:11:48) Top-Tier Shockliner Demon |
bunt--I agree. I've disciplined my son in public when necessary and didn't have to anymore by the time he was 4 or 5. Too many parents today see their
little bundles of joy as idols instead of human beings who need to be guided the right way---and if it takes a type of punishment (whether it be a swat on the
butt or the taking away of things/privledges) then it's what must be done.
I would have lasted -100 seconds if I even THOUGHT about talking to my mother like that---but being my old man raised me the right way those things never even entered my mind. |
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njhorror |
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Posts: 4385 (03/30/09 20:00:40) Shocklineraholic |
I don't know. If I ever purposely ignored my father while he was talking to me he probably would've cracked me in the face to get my attention.
Yes . . . I really am a Democrat.
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VictorVoyles |
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Posts: 1094 (03/30/09 20:11:37) Master Shockliner |
My mom was taken to court because she spanked my brother and grounded him for a month. This coming after having to go down and post his bail. It was so bad
that CPS were damn camped out at my door. Anytime my brother felt that she was too hard on him, all he had to do was tell her that he'd tell his teachers.
My mom took away tv, CPS showed up and said that she was being unreasonable. They would continue to blame my mom for the problems he had because he wasn't
being disciplined at home, yet they would't let her discipline him.
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CoscomEntertainment |
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Posts: 186 (03/30/09 20:16:32) |
Even as a teenager, if I ever cursed in front of my folks--huge trouble followed. I think I might have still gotten soap in my mouth at that age.
Parents nowadays treat their children as friends, which is a mistake during the child-rearing years. We made that mistake with our firstborn. Didn't know any better but sure went down a bad path as a result. When we resolved to be parents to him instead of friends, it made a world of difference. Friendship with your kid should be reserved for when they're older, like 17 or 18. Not saying you can't be friends with your kids now, as in be friendly with them and getting along, but a parent needs to be a parent first, a friend second. It's our job. Rant over. |
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Bookhoard |
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Posts: 666 (03/30/09 20:24:05) |
Victor: all too common.
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 Shocklines |
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Posts: 30937 (03/30/09 20:43:40) Administrator |
You never know the circumstances in cases like this. You don't know how much of this was learned by how the parents treat each other, etc. This may not be
a case of the good parents who are stuck with a rotten teen.
Shocklines.com -- your one-stop shop for hell on earth
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Bookhoard |
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Posts: 667 (03/30/09 21:07:41) |
Or maybe they're too good. Bad behavior doesn't always have a cause, although I'm sure the lack of discipline and respect is going to make matters
worse.
Last Edited By: Bookhoard
03/30/09 21:12:06.
Edited 1 times.
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cussedness |
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Posts: 401 (03/31/09 02:59:14) Veteran Shockliner |
My daughter had her own take on that when she was 7. I had been giving her an 'allowance' as a means of teaching her to count, add, subtract and so
forth. I announced to her that she was too old to spank and I would therefore take part of her allowance if she misbehaved. Her response was "Spank me,
Mom., Spank me. But don't take my money."
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Cairnwood |
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Posts: 1847 (03/31/09 03:21:08) Veteran Shockliner |
Last Edited By: Cairnwood
03/31/09 05:44:17.
Edited 1 times.
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tartarusrussell |
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Posts: 196 (03/31/09 03:46:57) |
I'm with Buntles on this one. There have always been deeply unpleasant and disrespectful children in every generation, and thankfully they are, and always
have been, in the minority. It's just that they get noticed while all the decent children don't, and then they find their whole generation condemned.
And it will always be the case that appalling children learnt their behaviour from somewhere - usually home. With all due respect, Cairnwood, I'm not sure that punching a disrespectful child in the mouth and then kicking them when they are down is necessarily great parenting either.... |
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Frank Menser |
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Posts: 1117 (03/31/09 05:13:25) Master Shockliner |
My Father always said, "Bottoms are there to teach you discipline." We got spanked on the rump for serious infractions. Didn't take much, soon
just being sent to get the belt was enough to get the response my father wanted -so no spanking necessary-we had learned.
Parent should be Parents First. You cannot reason with a child till they are old enough to learn there are consequences for their actions. Be their friend when they are married and have their own families and understand what you were trying to teach them. I get pissed every time someone says it takes a village. It takes a good - but not abusive parent. The government once again is too involved in something and as usual they screw it up.
Trashed Cat Publications:
trashedcatpubs.com Home of;THE BARD BUSINESS, ORPHANED EPICS & SIDEWAYS THRU TIME. |
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Cairnwood |
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Posts: 1849 (03/31/09 05:16:24) Veteran Shockliner |
Last Edited By: Cairnwood
03/31/09 05:44:00.
Edited 2 times.
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Bookhoard |
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Posts: 668 (03/31/09 06:03:21) |
I completely disagree with the notion that "bad behavior is always learned somewhere -- usually at home." Bad behavior is just the absense of
discipline and structure.
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Bookhoard |
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Posts: 669 (03/31/09 06:06:31) |
My daughter had her own take on that when she was 7. I had been giving her an 'allowance' as a means of teaching her to count, add, subtract and so forth. I announced to her that she was too old to spank and I would therefore take part of her allowance if she misbehaved. Her response was "Spank me, Mom., Spank me. But don't take my money."  Wall Street concurs.
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amygrech |
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Posts: 1422 (03/31/09 06:23:32) Master Shockliner |
My parents were strict with my brother and me early on, so we were always well behaved...
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JimPI |
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Posts: 1458 (03/31/09 06:27:24) Shocklineraholic |
njhorror wrote: They'd have had to find my body first. Jim
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Son, the First Amendment protects you from the government, not from me. You can say whatever you want to out there. You come within reach of me, I'll exercise my right to give you a good ol' country ass whoopin'. --Trace Adkins, "Fightin' Words" |
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tartarusrussell |
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Posts: 199 (03/31/09 06:40:24) |
"I completely disagree with the notion that "bad behavior is always learned somewhere -- usually at home." Bad behavior is just the absense
of discipline and structure."
I'm not sure if we are in fundamental disagreement. It seems to me that behaviour (good or bad) is learnt or copied by children from those around them. From very early on parents are in a position to have great influence. Structure, reason, respect and (yes) reasonable discipline all have their part to play. But beating your kids into submission as some people here seem to advocate? I can only see that doing more harm than good. But maybe that's just me - an old-fashioned leftie, hippie who could do with a haircut. |
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