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LL Soares wrote:

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Dear Mr. Vernon,

If you're not going to finish your filet mignon, may I have your leftovers?

Filly mignon? What is that, horse meat???

Feeling your oats, are you? I am experiencing the urge to corral your gaiety and rein you in before you get the bit in your mouth and gallop away with this thread entirely. I tell you, a punster such as yourself ought to be horse whipped and ridden side-saddle, straight to the glue factory, nagging me as you are with your horseplay and puny attempts at punniness. Why must I be saddled with this sort of coltish behaviour?


The equestrian you have to ask yourself is how lucky do you feel, punk???

Thanks Nick. This is the nastiest piece of fiction I have put together and I am hoping folks who pick it up will enjoy it.